Captain Homo

Captain Planet is by far the worst Superhero ever created. Captain Planet was a superhero created by the multi-billion dollar media conglomerate, Time Warner. He pretty much had all of the same powers as Superman but for some reason he had blue skin and a green mullet.

Captain Planet’s gimmick was that he fought against pollution. Ironically, guess what his only weakness was? That’s right pollution. All you had to do was throw some trash on him and he would start to die. Bad guys literally fought this guy with chicken bones, bananna peels, and fast-food wrappers. To make matters worse, one of the Planeteers power was “heart”. All of the other Planeteers had cool powers like earthquakes, fireballs, windstorms, and tsunami’s. All his ring did was essentially turn “evil doers” into giant pussies.

Captain Planet was one of those educational cartoons that supposedly had an overarching not-so-subliminal message attached to it. Oh, and how could anyone forget the horrible sterotypical accents all of the characters had. I still laugh everytime I think about Kwame saying “let our powers combine” in his comical African accent. This show makes me want to burn aerosol cans and throw empty cans of Keystone Light in the Delaware river.


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