Snooki’s Wrestlemania

Snookimania! Are you kidding me? This year Snooki has been a New York Times best selling author, she was paid an absolutely absurd $32,000 to tell Rutgers students to “Study hard, but party harder”, and now she has won a match at Wrestlemania. This just goes to show that anything is possible if you keep working hard at boozing like an alcoholic and getting ridiculously fucked up every single day. Was that really Snooki who just flipped herself across the ring with that finishing move? Is this still earth?

There’s only 3 things that could have made this match better. 1) if Snooki got her ass handed to her and had to be saved by a run-in from Ronnie. Just picture how hilarious it would have been to see Ronnie running down the aisle in a wifebeater and then just clear out the ring by throwing his trademark wild haymakers like he was Big John Studd in the 1989 Royal Rumble. Good Ole’ J.R. would all be like “RONNIE, RONNIE, MY GOD ALMIGHTY IT’S RONNIE!” WHAT THE HECK IS HE DOING HERE!” ; 2) if Snooki somehow had to wrestle the Sandman from ECW circa 1999; and 3) if they replaced Snooki with J-Wow and made it a bra and panties match.

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