Voluntary Crucification Cool?

(Newser) – At least 24 Filipinos celebrated Good Friday in an incredibly painful fashion today, by voluntarily having people dressed as Roman soldiers drive four-inch stainless-steal nails through their palms, and then hoisting them into the midday sun. Such ritual crucifixions are a tradition in the country, and the largest of them attracted a crowd of more than 30,000 people, the AP reports. Many more penitent souls marched several miles to the site, flogging themselves and showering blood on spectators. The area is predominantly Catholic, but the Catholic Church officially frown on such displays; one local archbishop called them an “imperfect imitation with doubtful theological and social significance.” But one man who’s been crucified 25 times now says the church should respect the practice. “When I’m up there on the cross, I feel very close to God,” he says. “We grew up with this tradition, and nothing can stop us.”

I’ll tell you what I’m not doing this holiday weekend, voluntarily allowing someone to crucify me.  Like what the fuck?  Not only is this absurd for the obvious reasons, but that shit can’t be sanitary.  Having some dirty dude drive a 4-inch rusty nail into your palm!!?  Fillipinos are fucked up man.   Why can’t they just celebrate the holiday with an Easter Egg hunt like 99.9% of  the Christian/Catholic religion? 

Oh, and for my man who’s been crucified 25 times, if there is a god, I’m sure he thinks you’re fucking retarded.

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