Archive for May, 2011

Knockout of the century?

May 31, 2011

College Football Slave Trade?

May 28, 2011

Black Children Names?

May 27, 2011


(DETROIT)- In a decision that’s expected to send shockwaves through the African-American community—and yet, give much relief to teachers everywhere—a federal judge ruled today that black women no longer have independent naming rights for their children. Too many black children—and many adults—bear names that border on not even being words, he said.

“I am simply tired of these ridiculous names black women are giving their children,” said U.S. Federal Judge Ryan Cabrera before rendering his decision. “Someone had to put a stop to it.”

The rule applies to all black women, but Cabrera singled out impoverished mothers.

“They are the worst perpetrators,” he said. “They put in apostrophes where none are needed. They think a ‘Q’ is a must. There was a time when Shaniqua and Tawanda were names you dreaded. Now, if you’re a black girl, you hope you get a name as sensible as one of those.”

Few stepped forward to defend black women—and black women themselves seemed relieved.

“It’s so hard to keep coming up with something unique,” said Uneeqqi Jenkins, 22, an African-American mother of seven who survives on public assistance. Her children are named Daryl, Q’Antity, Uhlleejsha, Cray-Ig, Fellisittee, Tay’Sh’awn and Day’Shawndra.

Beginning in one week, at least three white people must agree with the name before a black mother can name her child.

“Hopefully we can see a lot more black children with sensible names like Jake and Connor,” Cabrera said.

His ruling stemmed from a lawsuit brought by a 13-year-old girl whose mother created her name using Incan hieroglyphics.

“She said it would make me stand out,” said the girl, whose name can’t be reproduced by The Peoples News’ technology. “But it’s really just stupid.”

The National Association of Elementary School Teachers celebrated Cabrera’s decision.

“Oh my God, the first day of school you’d be standing there sweating, looking at the list of names wondering ‘How do I pronounce Q’J’Q’Sha.’?” said Joyce Harmon, NAEST spokeswoman. “Is this even English?”

The practice of giving black children outlandish names began in the 1960s, when blacks were getting in touch with their African roots, said historian Corlione Vest. But even he admits it got out of hand.

“I have a niece who’s six. I’m embarrassed to say I can’t even pronounce her name,” said Vest, a professor at Princeton University. “Whenever I want to talk to her, I just wait until she looks at me and then I wave her over.”

Cabrera’s ruling exempted black men because so few of them are actually involved in their children’s lives.

Magnet Boy?

May 27, 2011

CBS/Reuters) A young boy in the town of Koprivnica, Croatia, is gaining worldwide attention for an unusual talent.  Six-year-old Ivan Stoiljkovic appears to be able to attract metal to his chest – including silverware, coins and even a frying pan.  His family says Ivan possesses extraordinary strength and even healing powers.  “We always felt he is a bit different,” said Ivan Surlovic, the boy’s grandfather.

“At 15 months of age he was rollerblading, he started walking at eight months. He was less then two years when he had already been driving a little motorcycle, and it was a bit weird,” Surlovic said.  Ivan practices his magnetic skill every day, usually with his grandparents.  “It started as a joke,” said Dragica Surlovic, Ivan’s grandmother. “I said, let’s try this and things just stuck to him. The heavier things actually stuck more strongly to him.”  In total, his family says Ivan can carry up to 55 pounds of metal on his torso.  His family says that Ivan’s power is strongest in the morning and when he is calm and focused.  His upper body appears to be more magnetic and his family says his wounds heal very quickly and leave no scars.  Family members told Reuters that Ivan also has “healing hands” with which he alleviates his grandfather’s stomach pains and has soothed the pain of a neighbor who hurt his leg in a tractor accident.

I love this video. I’m not going to lie, I was exicted for this story. Magnet boy? Then I found out what it was. Just some fat-ass Croatian kid sticking frying pans and quarters to his chubby little man-boobs. This shit has got to be the lamest super power than anyone could ask for. It’s like finally we get a real live mutant, but it turns out to be this gooey lil’ prick sticking spoons to his gut.

Baby Pictures on Facebook?

May 26, 2011

This is the worst.  Why the hell do people feel a need to put pictures of their ugly, snot-nosed, pink-ass baby on facebook.  Noone wants to see this shit and noone thinks it’s cute.  I really could give two shits if your fatherless, bastard child threw up, cried, or shit itself today.  I can just see the hate mail pouring in: “Oh, but Madchuck, why do you hate babies?”  I don’t hate babies per se.  I just firmly believe that babies have no business on facebook.  There is no quicker way to ruin my day than when I have to see someones ugly ass kid in my news feed.  Just parading your fucking kid out there for all the pedophiles to see.  Yeah, smart move jackass.


Oh, and the worst is when people put up pictures of their ultrasound.  Like a blurry-ass black and white photo of nothing is adorable.  They are always like “can’t you see his tiny little body?”  Get the fuck out of here.  You can’t see shit in an ultrasound pic.  I don’t even know what I’m supposed to be looking at.  That looks more like Guile’s “Sonic Boom” in Street Fighter II, than a baby.

If your profile picture is a picture of your kid …. I hate you.  If your profile pic is your ultrasound…. please kill yourself.

Are Movies Even Being Serious Anymore?

May 25, 2011


Foxnews – Spanish director Pedro Almodovar’s latest thriller, “The Skin I Live In,” had filmgoers fleeing the theater Thursday night at its gala premiere at the Cannes Film Festival, due to some aggressively violent and disturbing content. The film, which stars Antonio Banderas and budding actress Spanish actress Elena Anaya, focuses on a mad but brilliant surgeon (Banderas) who kidnaps a man who raped his daughter. The doctor’s daughter killed herself from the grief and it drives him to take very drastic measures. This is where it gets complicated and disturbing.  Banderas then gives the rapist a sex change and transplants his deceased daughter’s face onto his body. He later has sex with the man he has brutally experimented on and turned into a woman. Guests, among them a group of sweepstakes winners flown specially to Cannes by Stella Artois from the U.S. to enjoy a once in a lifetime movie premiere were horrified by the experience.  Critics have also fallen in love with the upsetting film and are placing it in contention for the highest Cannes honor, the Palme d’or.

Jesus fucking Christ!  What the fuck kind of script is this?  Talk about getting greedy.  You got Elena Anaya in a sex thriller.  That’s all you need.   Just throw together some average plot lines and you got yourself a movie.  But this idiot director couldn’t leave well enough alone.  Nope.  He has to make this into a freakshow.  Dude kidnapping his daughter’s rapist,giving him a sex change, sticking his daughters face on the dude and then raping his ass.  Where is the pageantry in that?    Just keep it simple stupid.  Hot chick getting stuffed by heterosexual males.  Done and done.  None of this wacko shit.   And spare me the critics loved it bullshit.  Yeah no shit. That’s why critics have no credibility.    As long as something is really fucked up and makes people think to themselves “what the fuck is this shit” they think it’s good.

1/4 of Wrestlemania VII Dead?

May 24, 2011

As points out, none of the 44 starters from the Super Bowl played in 1991 have passed away and only two of 44 boxers who held a championship belt that year are gone. At 58, Savage made it nearly a decade longer than some of his deceased colleagues.  This is sad, sad stuff, man.

Monta Ellis tattoo?

May 24, 2011

Yeah Nigga, let me get a tree tattooed to my chest.  Yeah, this might not be the worst tattoo I’ve ever seen, but it’s easily in the top 25.

Macho Man Rap?

May 24, 2011

This is awesome, Macho Man Randy Savage rapping about Mr. Perfect. And this R&B hook! Wow, this is fucking classic. RIP my friends.

Call of Duty Modern Warfare 3

May 24, 2011

World War 3. Sick!