Unless you’ve been living under a rock, you probably heard that Casey Anthony was found NOT GUILTY of first degree murder today. The jury pronounced that Casey Anthony was not guilty of first degree murder, aggravated child abuse and aggravated manslaughter. She was found guilty only in four counts relating to lying about the child’s missing. For those of you who are not familiar with all of the details of the Casey Anthony trial, let me explain it to you.
Back in 2008, Casey Anthony was living with her daughter in the home of her parents, George and Cindy Anthony. Casey left her family’s home on June 16, 2008, taking her daughter Caylee (who was almost 3) with her and did not return for 31 days. Cindy Anthony asked repeatedly during the month to see Caylee, but Casey claimed that she was too busy with a work assignment in Tampa. At other times, she said Caylee was with a nanny, later identified by Casey as Zenaida Fernandez-Gonzalez (“Zanny”), or at theme parks or the beach.
On July 13, 2008, while doing yard work, Cindy and George Anthony found a notice from the post office for a certified letter affixed on their front door. George Anthony picked up the certified letter from the post office on July 15, 2008, and found that his daughter’s car was in a tow yard. When George picked up the car, both he and the tow yard attendant noted a strong smell coming from the trunk. Both later testified that they believed the odor to be that of a decomposing body. When the trunk was opened it contained a bag of trash, but no human remains.
Caylee Anthony was reported missing to the Orange County Sheriff’s Office on July 15, 2008, by her grandmother, Cindy. During the same call, Casey Anthony acknowledged to the 911 operator that Caylee had been missing “for 31 days.” A distraught Cindy also told the 911 operator “There is something wrong. I found my daughter’s car today and it smells like there’s been a dead body in the damn car.”
When Detective Yuri Melich, with the Orange County Sheriff’s Department, began investigating the disappearance of Caylee Anthony, he found discrepancies in Casey’s signed statement. When questioned, Casey said Caylee had been kidnapped by her nanny, Zanny. Although Casey had talked about Zanny, she had never been seen by Casey’s family or friends, and in fact there was no nanny. Casey also told police that she worked at Universal Studios, a lie she had been telling her parents for years. Investigators brought Casey to Universal Studios on July 16, 2008, the day after Caylee was reported missing, and asked her to show them her office. Casey led police around for a while before admitting that she had been fired years before.
At the beggining of her trial, her defense lawyer, Jose Baez, claimed that Caylee had actually died in a swimming pool accident on June 16, 2008 and that her father George Anthony, who Casey accuses of having sexually molested her since the age of eight, had disposed of the body and ordered her to keep things quiet.
Alright so if that is the case, what the hell was Casey Anthony doing during the month that Caylee was missing?
Well she did what any good mother would do, she dressed up like a French whore and partied her ass off!
She also entered a “hot body” contest at a Nightclub in Orlando. Because, you know, that seems like a completely rational thing to do after your two year old toddler goes “missing” for four days.
She also got a tattoo on the back of her shoulder that says “Bella Vita”, which translated from Italian means “Beautiful Life”.
On December 11, 2008, human remains were found in a forested area near the Anthony residence in a plastic bag. Duct tape was found on the face of the skull of the body. The body was later identified as Caylees. Duct tape was recovered from the mouth area of Caylee’s skull. Additionally, Cindy Anthony told investigators that a Winnie the Pooh blanket was missing from Caylee’s bed. This type of blanket was found at the crime scene. (Gee, I wonder how the blanket that was missing from Caylee’s bed got to the crime scene)
Shortly thereafter, University of Tennessee’s “Body farm” discovered “hair banding”, a phenomenon in which hair roots can form a dark band after death. A hair found in the trunk of the Anthony car exhibited this pattern. Also air extracted from the trunk of the Anthony car revealed human decomposition and the presence of chloroform.
Oh, but it doesn’t even stop there. Officials released 700 pages of documents related to the Anthony investigation, which included evidence of Google searches of the terms including “neck breaking”, “how to make chloroform”, “alcohol”, “inhalation,” “death”, “self-defense” and “head injury” on Casey Anthony’s home computer.
Finally, there was a diary entry from Casey Anthony dated June 21, 2008 that read:
I have no regrets, just a bit worried. I just want for everything to work out OK. I completely trust my own judgment and know that I made the right decision. I just hope that the end justifies the means. I just want to know what the future will hold for me. I guess I will soon see – This is the happiest that I have been in a very long time. I hope that my happiness will continue to grow– I’ve made new friends that I really like. I’ve surrounded myself with good people – I am finally happy. Let’s just hope that it doesn’t change.
Now that I’ve laid out the framework for you, let me explain to you why she’s guilty as shit. First off, she lied and said her nanny, named “Zanny,” kidnapped Caylee. That right there should be a tell-tale sign she’s guilty. A nanny named “Zanny”? Seriously, like she couldnt even come up with a better fake name than that? I mean that’s even worse than that episode of the Office where Dwight told Michael that his dentist’s name was “Crentist”.
Next, lets discuss the partying pictures. Now I don’t have any problem with Casey Anthony partying, except for the whole “missing” daughter thing. I know if my child was missing, the last thing I would do is hit up the club on Friday night. Maybe that’s just me. But lets forget about that for a second.
How about the fact that she lied about everything. She actually had the nerve to bring the police to Universal Studios knowing damn well that she didn’t work there. That is crazy to me. And not Lady Gaga crazy. I’m talking Gary Busey crazy.
How about the tattoo and the diary entry. At this point, this egotistical, self-centered bitch is so confident that the Orange County DA’s Office is retarded, that she’s leaving behind subliminal clues like she’s the fucking Riddler or something. I mean her tattoo says “Beautiful Life”, her diary entry says “I have no regrets, just a bit worried.” It’s like she’s playing a god-damn cat and mouse game with the police.
Ok, so you still don’t think she did it? How about the rotting corpse smell in her trunk? I mean I’ve had some nasty shit in my car such as football pads, empty fast food wrappers, gym clothes, ect. However, I think I could say in confidence, that my car never smelled like a rotting corpse. This isn’t even up for debate. It’s not even like a “glove don’t fit” thing. It’s a “You had a dead body in the trunk of your car” thing. Also, how many people do you know that drive around with traces of chloroform in their trunk? Stop thinking about it, the answer is Zero.
Don’t forget about Casey Anthony’s ridiculous google searches. I’ll admit it, I’ve had some pretty questionable google searches in my day. However, I’ve never googled “chloroform”, “neck breaking”, or any of that crazy stuff Casey Anthony was looking up. It should also be noted that all of those searches occurred within 15 minutes of each other. It’s probably just a coincidence. Just like it’s a coincidence that the blanket that Caylee was wrapped up in, was the same blanket that was missing from her house.
Ok, so you still don’t think she did it? Assuming arguendo, that Caylee really did drown in the swimming pool, why the FUCK was her skull covered in duct tape? I’m not a forensic scientist, but I’m pretty sure that theres a huge difference between suffocation and drowning. Again, just assuming that Caylee really did die in the swimming pool, and Casey’s father told her to cover it up and keep it quiet, are you telling me that Casey agreed to go along with that plan!!?? What was she just like “alright dad, hand me that Winnie the Pooh blanket and a roll of duct tape.” I mean, if you believe that version, that’s how it would have had to go down, right? She should be locked up on that alone.
Casey Anthony is like the guiltiest person in the history of guilty people. She’s so guilty that O.J. Simpson is probably sitting in a jail cell somewhere in Nevada like “damn, they got a lot of evidence on that bitch.” I’m sorry but if you think Casey Anthony is innocent, you’re a fucking moron. That’s not even my opinion, it’s a fact.
I can’t tell you why she killed her daughter. Maybe it’s because she’s batshit crazy, maybe it’s because she had “daddy issues”, maybe she was shitfaced and doesn’t remember how her daughter died, maybe she’s a cold-blooded murderer who gets off on suffocating toddlers, I don’t fucking know. But what I do know is she’s guilty as sin.
I agree with Casey Anthony’s attorney, Jose Baez, that there are no winners or losers here. A little girl is dead, and that’s a tragedy. However, that doesn’t change my opinion that his client is ridiculously guilty for all of the abovementioned reasons.
Apparently, it’s a great time to kill your kid in America and then say your dad molested you. Hell, Casey Anthony got away with it. I can only imagine the party that she is going to throw once she’s released from jail. Judging from her pictures, I bet it’s a rager.
(Note: I didn’t even have to put that text bubble there, she did)
So what’s next for Casey Anthony. If I had to guess, I would say that either a) she gets her own reality show entitled “Tot Mom”; b) Vivid Video offers her 1 million dollars to do a porno; or c) a fundamentalist, right-wing, Christian nutbag from Florida kills her. Also, I hope Nancy Grace realizes that all of this is totally her fault. Nobody would even know who Casey Anthony was if Nancy Grace didn’t have such a hard-on for this story. I hope you know that this whole Casey Anthony fiasco only made headlines because she’s not ugly. Thats it. If the accused was some fat gross mom that wasn’t in hot body contests and sexy Halloween costumes, it would just be another murder case. But chick is semi-attractive so it garnered headlines every where. If we really wanted justice for Caylee, we should’ve done it this way:
Also, please comment if you think she’s innocent, I would love to hear the other side of the argument.