Kansas– A Valley Falls man was critically injured this weekend during a fight in which he was stabbed. Brandon K. Smelser, 25, Valley Falls, is facing first degree attempted murder charges. Smelser allegedly stabbed Christopher Daniel, 22, also of Valley Falls, during a fight in the parking lot of the mobile home court at 1208 Oak in Valley Falls. The incident began around 12:40 a.m. Saturday when Smelser allegedly took issue with the type of beer Daniel brought to a party. Smelser was allegedly upset that the victim brought Natural Light beer to the party instead of another brand. Daniel was taken to St. Francis (Hospital) where he remains. Smelser was booked into Jefferson County Jail around 2:30 a.m. where he remains.
Alright, Brandon K. Smelser is fucking insane. There’s nothing wrong with Natty Light. I pretty much drank Natty Light for three years straight, and I’m still alive. If you ask me, all of those generic shitty light beers taste exactly the same. I used to be a beer snob like this too. Until I went to college and realized that it’s retarded to spend $15 on 12 Coronas, when I could get a 30 case of Keystone/Natty for the same price. So fuck you, Brandon K. Smelser, you inbred redneck fuck.