Homeboy’s got 5 DUI’s?

www.barstoolsports.com

Daily Mail – This man’s face has become well-known to police in Wisconsin and not just because of his strange tattoos. Cory Smit, 29, has been found guilty of driving while intoxicated for the fifth time. The convict, who has a selection of tattoos on his face and neck, was stopped by officers when they saw him swerving left and right in Two Rivers. When they approached him he apparently smelled of alcohol, had glassy and bloodshot eyes and found it hard to walk or stand, according to the police report. ‘He became belligerent and uncooperative and had to be pepper-sprayed when he began pounding his head on the back seat of the patrol car,’ officers said in the report. Smit was found to have a blood-alcohol level of 0.29. He had previously been convicted of drunken driving once in 2004, twice in 2005 and again in 2008. Smit has a collection of tattoos including what appears to be the phrase ‘love kills slow’ above a skull and crossbones on his neck. He also has dots tattooed over his eye brows with a tattoo in the shape of an eye brow just above.

I’ve seen a lot of cocky things in my life.   We get pictures from all around the world of people with the cockiest looks in the world. Outlandish outfits. Absurd styles. Flashy cars. Arrogance and opulence like you read about. But I have never seen anything as cocky as getting a pair of eyebrows tattooed above your eyebrows. Never. It takes cocky to a whole new level. You’re just the guy walking around town with 4 eyebrows and 5 DUIs. Thats some serious swagger. Brow Swagga.

I’ll be perfectly honest though bro, your flow could use some work. Not exactly a thick mop top, now is it? Looks like patches of fur on a stray dog or coyote or some shit. Combine that with the fact that you look like a rodent mixed with the Chuckie doll and it all really takes away from the 4 eyebrows. Its like you got a masterpiece on your forehead but you’re surrounding it with trash. Like King Felix out in Seattle.

This might be the most disappointing mugshot/ crime combination I’ve seen in a long time. It’s impossible to pick the weirdest part of that picture. Is it the fact that he looks like a 12 year old who stuck his head in a microwave? Is it the combination San Diego Chargers and crop circle double eyebrow tats? Is it the tattoo goatee? I clicked on the link expecting this guy to have fucked a cow or smuggled cheese into jail in his ass or whatever is it they do for fun is Wisconsin, and all I get is a DUI?   No way in hell the worst thing this guy did is drink and drive. The cops might want to check the garage where Cory kept the car he was arrested in, because I’m willing to bet it’s probably a meth lab.

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