Abercrombie asks Situation to Stop Wearing Their Clothing?

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WSJWith their quick rise to fame, the cast of MTV reality show “Jersey Shore” has cashed in on a number of endorsement deals, including weight loss supplements, alcohol and bronzer. But here’s a first. Teen apparel retailer Abercrombie & Fitch Co. is offering to pay Michael “The Situation” Sorrentino not to wear its merchandise. The New Albany, Ohio company released a statement Tuesday evening titled “A Win-Win Situation,” in which it stated a “deep concern” over the association between Mr. Sorrentino and the brand. A&F offered up a “substantial payment” to Mr. Sorrentino “to wear an alternate brand.” “We understand that the show is for entertainment purposes, but believe this association is contrary to the aspirational nature of our brand, and may be distressing to many of our fans,” the statement read. The company also extended the pay-to-not-play offer to the other Jersey Shore reality stars and said it was “urgently waiting a response.” Last year, Mr. Sorrentino gave an interview to New York magazine where he said, “Abercrombie & Fitch, their most popular shirt, they told me, is ‘Fitchuation.’ I mean, where did they get that from? Obviously from myself.” A&F confirmed that it sold that shirt as part of its “humor graphic tee assortment.”

There are undeserving rich people, then there are motherfucking undeserving rich people, and then there is the Situation. An undeserving rich person is someone who wins the lottery. Randomly picks a bunch of numbers and some organization says “yup, those are right, here’s a bajillion dollars.” A motherfucking undeserving rich person is Kim Kardashian. Chick has a big ass and literally stands there. Doesn’t sing, act or dance. She’s just really good at getting fucked by black guys. And she has ungodly amounts of money. I legit think lottery winners are more talented than Kim K.

And then there’s the Situation. Who’s such a jabroni he’s making money backwards. Reverse endorsements. He’s so fucking good at being fucking awful he’s being rewarded. Do you know how absurd that is? Do you know how fucking awesome that is? I wouldn’t be surprised if J Crew doubles Abercrombie’s offer to make sure he wears nothing but A&F. This guy is gonna start a bidding war over which clothing company gets ruined by his promotion. For nothing but being his asshole self. Granted, I’ll give him the fact that he’s so douchey its almost a talent. Not just like anybody can do what he does. But bottom line is he’s so untalented and people are so disgusted by him he’s getting money to disassociate with them. THAT, my friends, is the American Dream. Making tons of money when you absolutely don’t fucking deserve it. Bravo, Mike Sorrentino. Snake it til you make it.

Umm does somebody want to whisper into the Abercrombie marketing team’s ear that they’re Abercrombie?   Like it’s not 2002 anymore.   Nobody’s sleeping in tents outside the mall to be the first person to buy a $90 muscle polo.   When the main character of one of the biggest 15-25 year old male demographics on television is voluntarily wearing your shit you write him a thank you letter and send a box of chocolates not pay him money to stop wearing it.  Especially when 95% of sales are tight ass tee shirts and striped polos bought by goombas to fist pump and fight people on boardwalks?   I mean it’s kind of like when Louis Vitton tried to send Snooki Chanel bags to wear except instead of high end high fashion European brands we’re talking about a fucking trashy graphic tee store with shirtless models blasting techno music and spraying Fierce cologne out of their assholes.  If I were a 14 year old bro right now I’d boycott this shit and head straight to American Eagle for my threads or even better Aeropostale like it’s ’00 all over again.

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