Hair Brushing Syndrome?

www.barstoolsports.com

Daily MailIt is part of every teenager’s daily routine. But one Scottish schoolgirl has been given a dire warning that she could die by simply brushing her hair. Megan Stewart dices with death each time she combs her locks or touches balloons because of an extremely rare medical condition. The 13-year-old suffers from Hair Brushing Syndrome, which was only discovered by her mother as she was getting her daughter ready for her first day at primary six. Doctors at Yorkhill Hospital for Sick Children in Glasgow, told her parents they had only ever heard of one other case of the syndrome which forces the youngster to avoid any kind of static as it triggers a potentially fatal reaction. Last night, Megan’s mother Sharon described how she discovered her daughter’s illness. She said: ‘I was brushing her hair in the living room when she flopped over and her lips turned blue. ‘I thought she was having a fit, which she has never had before, so we called the paramedics. ‘It was really scary. We were really shocked because we didn’t know what was happening.  Mrs Stewart added: ‘When we comb her hair we have to lay her down and cover her head with water to stop any static building up. ‘She can’t rub balloons on her head at parties.’

When we comb her hair we have to lay her down and cover her head with water to stop any static building up? Are you people British or fucking retarded? If there was any chance I’d explode with electricity from combing my hair I’d never go near a fucking brush. Hey sweetheart I know you’re a teenage girl and hair is important but if your mom needs to lay you down and waterboard you to comb your hair to prevent a fucking lightning bolt from killing you, maybe you can just deal with a couple knots? Cut your hair or put on a hat you dumb bitch. You’re gonna fucking die!

I can’t even stand when I touch a doorknob in the winter and I get shocked. Getting shocked is the fucking WORST THING EVER. I don’t care who you are. You could be 6’5, 300 lbs and just wrapping up your 2nd tour in Afghanistan and starting your professional UFC career, when you touch a doorknob and get a shock you squeal like a bitch and pull your hand back as fast as you can. Its like the most painful not painful thing you can do to yourself. And meanwhile this chick wants to rub her goddam head on balloons at birthday parties even though shes gonna electrocute herself to death.

Sorry you’re gonna have to live a balloon-less life with a ginger fro but its either that or fucking death. So grow up. Man do I hate British girls suffer from Hair Brushing Syndrome.

PS – 450% chance that Hair Brushing Syndrome is not a real thing

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