Vice.com – Yesterday I was in my hotel room in Atlanta iChatting about my son’s teething with my wife when my roommate, Jonathan Mehring, came in and said, “We just met these ganster ass twins who sleep in the same bed and only fuck the same girl.” I said goodbye to my wife, put on my shoes, and told Jonathan, “Take me to them.” The short of it is they share the same bed, wear matching outfits, only fuck the same girls, were both engaged to the same Penthouse Pet, and are both looking forward to marrying the same woman and fathering the same child. The long of it is they are the most unique twins I’ve ever come across and a psychologist’s wet dream. I plan on flying back to Atlanta very soon to shoot a documentary on them. They are so amazing and their story is so tweaked, that this interview was only able to scratch the surface.
The Atlanta Twins: Where do you want to start? We got a crazy fucking story, man. We were born in Chattanooga, Tennessee. It’s a slum fuck, white trash, black ghetto neighborhood. We grew up on food stamps—super trife. When we were younger we were into gnarly death metal. We started skating when we were 12. Want to know how we lost our virginity? When we were 13 years old we’d tell our dad we were going to stay with the homies, but we were actually going to stay with this 21-year-old bitch. We got back to the crib and were drinking OE and getting high when all of a sudden some dudes were like, “She wants to fuck both of you. Go into her bedroom.” We didn’t care or know nothing about pussy then, but we went in there and she was in lingerie bumping Poison or Motley Crue. She said, “Take your clothes off,” to both of us. We had boners and shit. We took off our clothes and she started sucking our dicks. She was like, “You have beautiful bodies.” She was 21 years old and we were 13! Needless to say we fucked the shit out of her, raw dog, and busted inside her. That was our introduction to pussy and sharing the same girls.
But we have a rule: if he goes first one night, I go first the next night. Sometimes, with freaky ass bitches, we DP them. But we got big ass dicks, man. Girls don’t want this in their ass. We’re both blessed with 9-inch cocks. Bitches love us because we know how to fuck. That’s the reason you see us with all the badass bitches—we’re fucking them right. When it first pops off we might both get going on a chick, like she’ll start sucking my dick and he’ll start fucking her doggy. Then we flip it. Or we take turns. Or I might turn over and pass out and he’ll fuck her, and then when he busts that nut I come in. It’s good for the girl—she gets her shit off. She’s getting her orgasm, trust me. And we ain’t the best looking dude. We ain’t got no Ryan Sheckler face, but at the same time I’m charming. I got game. I know how to holler at girls.
(note: i highly recommend reading the entire interview on Vice.com)
Sometimes there’s just nothing left to blog about, folks. Sometimes you find a story about Eskimo Brother twins who share the same vaginas and trying to add on to it is just doing it a disservice. When Sandy Koufax was on the mound in the 9th inning of his first perfect game, Vin Scully only said like 10 words the whole inning. He just let the moment breath. Let the crowd and the stadium do the talking. Thats what I’m going to do here. I’m going to let the ATL Twins have their moment. Let them do the talking.
I cannot think of a SINGLE thing more demented than fucking a chick after your brother has come inside her. Its beyond deranged. But what can you say? They are Sidney and Thurman – the Slumerican gangstas blessed with 9 inch cocks. They’re gonna do whatever they wanna do. Marry the same woman and jerk off in the same bed and all that shit.