Tiki Barber a Giant Prick?

Yahoo – When Tiki Barber told HBO that he was returning to football because he “needed the game,” and because he “needed to prove to [himself] that he could be successful at something,” I thought it sounded like a recipe for a personal mental health disaster. Now that NFL rosters are set at 53, and Tiki Barber never got to sniff one, I hope that’s not true. According to Peter King at Sports Illustrated, Tiki isn’t taking it wellI tried to reach Barber on Sunday, but he wasn’t talking. I hear he’s devastated that no team gave him a chance. You might wonder if teams would bring him in after the first game of the season, so his contract wouldn’t be guaranteed, and that could still happen. But with no team calling Lepselter with even a hint of interest, it’s more likely teams would start with backs who’ve been in some football competition this summer. [Barber’s agent Mark] Lepselter told me Sunday: “We are flabbergasted that Tiki has not had an opportunity with any team, especially when rosters were at 90 players this year. I certainly thought some team would be intrigued to see what he had left in the tank.” Where this will leave Tiki Barber the person, I don’t know. He’s also recently proposed to his girlfriend, the one with whom he was involved while still married to his pregnant wife. So that’s good news.

Tiki Barber is the undisputed biggest asshole in New York, which is saying a lot considering I live in the same city. I do nothing except drink, curse a lot online, and exploit people for cheap laughs, and Tiki Barber is still a bigger dickhead than I am. And to be honest I think we both have about the same chance of being signed by an NFL team. I mean How fucking delusional is he? Like how arrogant do you need to be to think that NFL teams were going to come flocking once you announced you were coming out of retirement? As if you’re doing Roger Goddell and the League a favor. “I know, I know. Its been hard without me. I know how hard it is to replace running backs in the National Football League. As a result I’ve decided to make a comeback and grace you with my presence.”

Newsflash you dick – the average career for an NFL running back is like 32 minutes. Every year its a revolving door of new maniacs who are willing to run between the tackles and smash their bodies into bolivian. There’s about 5 million guys who are younger, faster, cheaper and not total fucking assholes. You’re done. The decision was made for you.

PS – I never thought I’d say this, but this guy looks like a bigger douche than Brett Favre. At least his comebacks were met with some degrees of success. Imagine looking yourself in the mirror and being like “I’m a bigger jerk than Brett Favre?” Thats downright horrifying. Hope Tiki’s homewrecking teenage new wife can stand by his side for this one.

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