DENVER – Two men accused of driving around with a dead friend, using his ATM card and visiting a strip club are charged with abusing a corpse, identity theft and criminal impersonation. Robert Jeffrey Young and Mark Rubinson are free on bond but they couldn’t be reached for comment Thursday. It’s unclear how Jeffrey Jarrett died, but the men are not charged in his death. The cause of death is pending toxicology tests. The Denver Post reports that in a less amusing real-life version of the film “Weekend at Bernie’s,” an affidavit accuses Young and Rubinson of leaving Jarrett’s body in the car while they drank at a bar on his tab Aug. 27. Investigators allege the men stopped at a restaurant, returned Jarrett’s body to his home, used Jarrett’s ATM card and withdrew $400 at the strip club Shotgun Willie’s before reporting Jarrett’s death.
I don’t see what they did wrong. Did Jeffery Jarrett have a will in his pocket that said “Don’t let my dickhead friends drive around with me all night and bring me to bars and strip clubs.” I doubt it. For all we know this is exactly how he wanted it to be done. When I go my best friends better fucking take me out to bars and strip clubs and spend all my money. Then after I want to be taxidermized and put in the corner of the the living room for all eternity. That’s the way to go, for sure. None of that burial and ceremony nonsense. Just fucking sit in the corner of the room for all eternity as you always would: One hand down your pants, one hand on a beer. Before everyone crucifies Robert Jeffery Young and Mark Rubinson I’d say you take a look at what his final wishes were. Good chance it was something along the lines of “Shots of whiskey and titties in my face and arghhhhh.”