Keenans Fiance?

Warming GlowI’ve maligned my share of “Saturday Night Live” cast members over the years, but perhaps none more so than Kenan Thompson. But hey, somebody must like him, because he’s engaged to model Christina Evangeline, with the wedding rumored to be next month. Oh, I’m sorry, did I call Christina a model? Allow her Twitter to correct me: I’m not a model. I never claimed to be. I had 2 layouts in maxim….for fun. I have a degree, ambition, for me, isn’t skin deep. “I’m not a model. I just model for magazines and have a profile on a modeling website,” said the model. And honey, you don’t have to talk about not caring what’s on the surface. You’re marrying Kenan Thompson. No one’s going to accuse you of being obsessed with looks. Or laughter.

Whe…WHAT? The fat kid from Good Burger is planting corn in this chick? I mean I guess I’ve always liked the guy, but what the hell is this broad thinking? Bitch Kenan don’t got no money! His IMDB looks like a graveyard of bad ideas: live-Action Fat Albert, Space Chimps, Love Don’t Cost a Thing. What is this fool doing that I’m not?

That’s it: I’m getting my stand-up together. I can’t get the image of Kenan Thompson with his pockets stuffed with hundreds watching football by a pool with this chick blowing him out of my head. I gotta do better.

PS – Tell me Kel is retired in the Bahamas right now and I think it might be time to have a razor race down my arm.

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