Meet Tina Marie Arie and Howard Windham. The Texas duo was arrested on drug charges last Monday after a cop was summoned to a Whataburger, where a male acquaintance of Arie and Windham was passed out. Arie, 44, who admitted providing the unconscious man with Hydrocodone, was arrested for delivery of a controlled substance. Windham, 30, was collared on a possession rap after he was found with the painkiller Soma. The pair was cuffed and stuffed into a police cruiser for the trip to get booked. That’s when things got interesting, according to a spokesperson for Montgomery County Constable Precinct 4. When the officer looked in his rear view mirror, he “could no longer see Tina Arie,” who subsequently explained that she was resting her head in Windham’s lap because she was “tired.” Suspicious, the officer pulled over to the side of the road to further investigate, according to a press statement. He discovered that, “despite being handcuffed behind their backs,” the pair were engaged in a sexual act. Windham’s jeans were undone “and Arie was servicing his exposed genitalia.” It is unclear how Windham’s jeans were unfastened–or whether teeth were somehow involved in the undoing of said britches. A spokesperson said she was unaware whether the jeans were of the zipper or button-fly variety.
See this is what you got to do if you’re an ugly chick in a relationship. I mean clearly this dude is better looking than his fiance. And everybody knows that hooking up gets old when you do it with the same person over and over again even if they are good looking. So what better way for an ugly chick to keep her man from roaming than knocking him out with hydrocodone, getting arrested and then giving him head while in cuffs in the back of a police car? That shit will keep you on your toes. “Like oh my god I can’t believe we’re doing this….Swallow my load…we’re in a cop car…I love you….lick my balls….I hope he doesn’t turn around…did you drug me?…this is so hot…I can’t believe you unbuttoned my jeans with your teeth and didn’t bite my dick…I love you”…Hey sometimes a gal had to do what a gal has to do. I mean good luck finding another slut who will go to the mattresses like this.