What, I’m Just Working Out?

 

SAN JOSE (CBS 5)A masked man’s recent visit to a San Jose post office led to a response by the bomb squad. But the student at the center of Tuesday’s bomb scare has an explanation for his attire. The first reports were unnerving: a man wearing a mask stuffed a package into a mailbox at the busiest post office in San Jose Tuesday afternoon. The bomb squad, firefighters, and the postal inspector closed down nearby streets. After four hours, a robot blew up the package, which turned out not to be dangerous. Which begs the question: what about the man in the mask? His name is Long Hoang, a 29-year-old nursing student and fitness buff. Hoang was on a so-called “crossfit” workout, a relatively new exercise regimen. According to Hoang, the mask he wore was designed to restrict breathing to simulate training at high altitude. A vest he also wore to the post office was packed with ten pounds of weights.

Totally natural reaction bro. The ol’ hands up, shoulders shrugged in a “WTF” manner. You look normal to me. Anyone who mistakes a guy wearing an altitude altering mask and weighted vest for a gas mask and bullet-proof vest is just an idiot. It’s called crossfit you idiots. It’s called getting in shape. If you want to be the fat, chubby dude at the beach then by all means keep doing pushups and curls and crunches like it’s the 1950′s. Me and Long Hoang will be sending our mail while getting Billy Blanks shredded then stealing your girl at the beach. I mean I’ve never caused SWAT and the fire department to come when I was out for a run, but maybe that’s what I’m missing. Summer 2012, keep your girls away from Feitelberg on the beach. I’ll be the dude who looks like Bane, mask and all.

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