Christmas Thieves?

SWEETWATER, Fla. (WSVN) – One woman is out of jail after she and an accomplice were arrested Thursday accused of stealing a neighbor’s Christmas lawn ornaments. According to police, surveillance cameras captured Guadalupe Valdes and her accomplices as they stole about $500 worth of holiday yard decorations from the front yard of the Alemendarez family’s Sweetwater home on Tuesday. “This is what we would consider a grand theft,” said a Sweetwater Police detective. “[They stole] Mickey Mouse on a horse, some hugging penguins, Snoopy on a dog house, and Santa on a sled.” Ingrid Alemendarez said that she found her stolen ornaments less than a block away from her home, in the suspects’ front yard. She led police to the suspects’ home, where authorities took Valdes and another woman into custody on Thursday.

A part of me respects the hell out of these ladies. Because it’s one thing to steal somebody’s Christmas decorations, but it’s entirely another to steal them and then just to put them on your front lawn two houses down. That’s what people in the Christmas Decoration stealing business call a power move. You literally can’t get more brazen than that. I mean that’s some mafia type shit. The only problem of course is that these bitches have no street cred. If you’re going to pull a stunt like this you better fucking know the neighbors are scared shitless of you. That they’ll be afraid to run to the police. Obviously that wasn’t the case here. So it will be interesting to see what happens next. I think the Valdes clan has no choice but to burn their neighbors house down right? I’m pretty sure that’s how criminal enterprises work. That way next year when you steal their shit again they’ll keep their mouths shut.

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