The Death of Santa Claus?

MetroA 13-year-old schoolgirl has written a letter to Santa Claus threatening to kill him if he fails to bring her good Christmas presents.  Mekeeda Austin from Bedford warned that there would be fatal consequences if she failed to receive at least two gifts from her list, which included a Blackberry and “the real-life Justin Bieber“.  She also vowed to “hunt down” and kill Santa’s reindeer so that she could “serve their meat to homeless people on Xmas day” and signed off the note with, “Remember… two of these, or you die”.  “I don’t really believe in Santa any more but I was angry because I thought I wasn’t going to get all the presents I wanted this year,” Mekeeda stated to Metro. “I want all of these things and I don’t see why I shouldn’t get them.” The youngster’s mother Tracey, who was the first to discover the note, insisted that her daughter would be punished.  “When I first found the letter, I thought it was funny,” she admitted. “Now I think I’d better get her what she wants. The last thing I want is for her to kill Santa.”

Listen up you little Rhianna lookin skank. You think you’re the first kid out there to try and strong arm Santa? You think that some other fucking punk out there hasn’t tried this approach? “Ohhh I wanna get fucked by Justin Beiber and if you don’t deliver him I’ll kill Rudolph!” How fucking clever are you! There’s probably about 18 million other preteen sluts like you who asked for Justin Beiber and stamped their feet trying to get their way. Just like the fucking Occupiers. Pay off my debt and my loans and my rent and give me money because I think I deserve it and if you don’t we’re gonna poop all over your park! Hey Mekeeda why don’t you do me a favor. Why don’t you march your ass down to Wall Street and spend Christmas with the hipsters complaining that you deserve shit. Because nobody likes you.

You know how many Jewish kids out there would die to be able to write Santa a nice letter politely asking for gifts? Every year spinning dreidels playing Hava Nagila for 8 shitty nights while the Christians have all the Christmas fun. All of them, thats how many. And you just take everything for granted and go about making threats on Rudolph’s life. As a matter of fact we should just trade your ass. Trade you to the Jews for a Steinberg and a Weinstein to be named later. At least those Chosen ones will appreciate St. Nick for everything he does.

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