DECEMBER 16–Meet Michael Pratt. The 27-year-old Floridian was on a movie date last week with Sarah Bush, 35, when he asked for her car keys so that he could retrieve something from the vehicle. Bush gave him the keys and went back to watching “Immortals” (Pratt had paid for the movie tickets, while Bush shelled out for a nacho combo). However, Pratt–who had been dating Bush for two weeks–never returned to the Cobb Theater in Wesley Chapel. When Bush departed, she realized that her rented Ford Focus had been stolen. When she called Pratt, he left no doubt about the whereabouts of her wheels: “Ha ha I stole your car,” he said, according to a Pasco County Sheriff’s Office report.
Hey just wanted to drop off a quick tip for Sarah Bush assuming she’s reading this. Just a heads up sweetheart if you’re dating a dude with
1) An orange mohawk
2) 3 piercings on his face in random places that don’t usually get pierced
3) A fucking tarantula tattoo on his neck
1) Takes you on a date to see “Immortals”
chances are like 350% he’s going to dip out of the movie theater before the end of the previews and steal your Ford Focus. It’s like the sun coming up or water being wet. Keep that in mind for next time.
PS- “Ha ha I stole your car” is such a fucking domination move. Thanks for the nacho combo and the free wheels honey. Hope you enjoyed the Greek myth of Theseus though.