Stripping for Chipmunks?

GothamistFilm-goers at a suburban multiplex last week got an unwanted preview when a man flashed them from the front row. Edward L. Brown has been held on $100,000 bond after he allegedly stood up completely naked a half-hour into the 4 p.m. screening of Alvin and the Chipmunks: Chipwrecked at North Riverside Park Mall’s Classic Cinemas and exposed his chestnuts to the 86 patrons in attendance. Two North Riverside policemen who were patrolling the mall quickly responded to the scene and managed to get Brown to put his clothes back on, then arrested him without further incident. Brown said in the police report he was let into the theater for free by an unknown female, who he claimed told him to strip in the front row and wait for her with the promise of sex, smoking crack and doing heroin

Eddie Brown with a classic mistake here. If someone ever promises you sex, heroin and crack for exposing yourself during a cartoon movie about musical talking chipmunks, you get the sex, heroin and crack before you expose Alvin Simon and Theodore. Or at least 2 out of 3. Get a blow job and a crack rock ahead of time with the promise of some heroin and intercourse after exposing yourself to children. Like a half now, half later sorta deal. Because there’s no doubt in my mind this chick grabbed a bucket of popcorn with the ushers and the retards who work behind the concession stand and watched this crack fiend flop his dick and balls around during the 4pm screening of the Chipmunks and laughed all the way home.

PS – Just another example of how guys will do almost anything for sex. And also in his case narcotics. But this dude was able to convince himself he was gonna get fucked right then and there in the front row of Alvin and the Chipmunks. That type of delusional optimism is borderline impressive.

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