2 Vaginas?


DMHazel Jones always wondered why she suffered from terrible cramps and heavy periods during puberty. But it wasn’t until she turned 18 that she was given her astonishing diagnosis – she had two vaginas. The blonde 27-year-old from High Wycombe has the million-in-one condition uterus didelphys, which means she has two separate uteruses and cervixes as well. But she told ITV’s This Morning she was comfortable with having the condition, despite the fact she had to effectively lose her virginity twice. ‘Once I found out what it was I told everybody,’ she told TV hosts Holly Willoughby and Phillip Schofield. ‘I thought it was amazing and it’s definitely an ice-breaker at parties’. She added: ‘If women want to have a look, I’m quite happy to show them, it’s not something I’m embarrassed by.’ Hazel went to the doctor after her long-term boyfriend told her she was ‘different’ in the genital area.

It’s “an ice-breaker at parties”? Hazel, telling a stranger at a party that you have two vaginas isn’t an ice breaker, it’s fucking crazy.

I’m not sure there’s a man on this planet prepared to deal with a chick who’s on her period almost two weeks a month. Like sure it might be fun to literally fuck different parts of your girl’s pussy every night, but once shark week kicks in all that double-snatch enjoyment goes out the window.

Which makes me think that Hazel should just give up on all ordinary dating and just use her body for weird scientific projects. Like she should get pregnant by an Asian dude in one vagina, a Black guy in the other, and begin her life as the rainbow mom. Just spitting twins out of her dual holes of every creed and color and getting the reality show contract of a lifetime. Guaranteed after season one Angelina Jolie offers you 7-figures for your superpussy.


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