Marky Mark Could’ve Stopped 9/11?

(Men’s Journal) In our February issue, on sale now: Erik Hedegaard profiles two-time Oscar nominee Mark Wahlberg, Paul Solotaroff revisits the golden era of Gold’s Gym, and Kevin Gray celebrates the fast life and fiery death of Dan Wheldon, racing’s brightest star.

On being scheduled to be on one of the planes that crashed into the World Trade Center
“If I was on that plane with my kids, it wouldn’t have went down like it did. There would have been a lot of blood in that first-class cabin and then me saying, ‘OK, we’re going to land somewhere safely, don’t worry.’”

Speechless doesn’t even begin to describe how speechless I am right now. I mean there’s acting tougher than you really are, then there’s saying you would have thwarted the largest terrorist attack in American history. I’m as big a Marky Mark fan as there is and even I think this is a ridiculously outlandish statement. There would have been a lot of blood in first class then you would tell everyone you’re going to land somewhere safely? Has anyone even fucking told Wahlberg that the movies he acts in are fake? Seriously, after reading this interview I’m pretty sure he just struts around town mumbling “fuck” in a Boston accent and planning high stakes bank heists. Convinced all his movies are just high-budget reality shows. I love you Mark, but those crazy Arabs who were prepared to die would have killed the shit out you with those box cutters. I don’t care if you’ve got the power.

I just can’t take this dude serious.  Maybe its because “The Happening” was the worst movie in the history of film. Maybe its because I know he thinks Entourage was a great show. But bottom line is I’m pretty sure Mark Wahlberg is like a real life Buzz Lightyear. Dude is just convinced he’s a real life action star. Its why he can beat the shit out of a Vietnamese dude with a stick and leave him blind and not bat an eyelash. Its why he thinks he would have stopped 9/11 from happening. Its why he thinks he can crush the hottest pussy on earth. Actually that part really does happen. To Infinity….And Beyond! Say hello to ya motha for me.


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