DM – According to This Morning, she said: ‘I have never received any offers of this kind of work nor would I never consider doing it in a million years. ‘I just want to be left alone.’ The response comes after founder of Vivid Steven Hirsch wrote a letter to Ms Jones offering her $1m to star in one of his films, TMZ.com revealed. In the letter, Hirsch wrote: ‘You are obviously an extraordinary woman and I would like to make you an offer to star in an upcoming Vivid production. ‘We would pay you up to $1 million for your services.’ Hirsch also promised to cover travel and accommodation expenses, as the film would be shot in Los Angeles. Hirsch wrote: ‘We would fly you out to L.A. as soon as you are available and provide you with first class accommodations’ A spokesperson for Vivid confirmed the offer, saying: ‘It’s true. ‘Steven made an offer to Hazel Jones.’
What a complete dummy. First of all — I called it. But what a complete dummy. When and where else in your stupid little life are you gonna get the chance to do a couple of day’s work for a million bucks? Hazel, if I had two penises you could bet your left vagina I’d be on that plane to LA right now googling my co-stars.
Of course, maybe this is all an elaborate hoax. Stephen Hirsch — who looks EXACTLY how I pictured the owner of Vivid to look — said that she could make “up to” a million dollars. Maybe it’s really only like $35,000 with some insane dual-vagina contractual incentives. Poor Hazel might have to double-fuck half of California before she sees that full million.
Either way, she needs to get off her high horse and return this dude’s phone call. Hear him out. The people need to see those vaginas.