Maccauley Culkin?

NYCMacaulay Culkin stepped out in New York yesterday looking extremely thin and scruffy in exclusive photos obtained by ET that are likely to spark rumors about the former child star’s health. The 31-year-old star, and former lover of Mila Kunas for 8 years, is rumored to be starring in the British film Service Man — described as an uplifting military action flick — set for release in 2013.

Holy shit. Nothing says I’m making it in the biz like the Steve Buscemi with AIDS look. Fucker looks like he’s going to star in Homeless Alone: Lost In Central Park After Dark. Entire movie is about Macaulay protecting his precious 5×5 real estate under a bridge but above a warm venting sewer grate. Just him making shanks out of Christmas ornaments and blowing the Wet Bandits for coke. Movie ends when the bird lady starts sodomizing Joe Pesci with some turtle doves cause Marv stole her cans.

And am I the only one who didn’t know Kevin McCallister was banging Mila Kunis for 8 years? What the shit? Talk about using your 15 minutes of fame. I guess I’d choose the meth route too if I failed to lock up the greatest piece of ass I’d ever sniff after almost a decade of commitment.

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