Worst Directions Ever?

What…go over? Which direction is over? Up “dere”? What the hell are we even talking about here, Nasheesha?

This ain’t my first rodeo, sweetheart. I’m not stupid. I bet the second I “go like ‘dis” your cousins will be waiting behind a palm tree with a machete ready to cut me open and stuff my body with Jamaican “exotic” to sell in the states for big American dollars. Leave me bleeding to death and hanging upside-down while some skinny dude with dreads and gold teeth asks me questions in patois I can’t understand. Family calling off cadaver search teams just because I took some little girl’s cuteness for honesty. And you expect me to “go dere again”? This little girl must think I have DUMMY written on my forehead. Save it for the next tourist, Nasheesha. I’m keeping my wallet and organs with me on this trip.

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