Blowing Up?

Make me a balloon dog, bro

LITTLETON, Colo. — A 5-year-old girl is getting ready to undergo a battery of tests after she found a condom on her school playground and thought it was a balloon.The condom was found in wood chips on the playground at Acres Green Elementary School in Littleton on Thursday.”One of my daughter’s friends brought it over to my daughter and gave it to her as a gift,” the father told 7NEWS. “At that point, my daughter attempted to blow it up.” After playing with the condom, the girl put it in her pocket. My concern is not knowing if it was used or not (and) my daughter putting it to her mouth,” the father said. We are not naming the father or girl to protect her.”It scares me,” the dad said. “This is the scariest thing I have ever been through in my life.”The girl is scheduled for a series of tests Monday to see if she contracted a disease. 7NEWS discovered the condom the girl found on the playground was not the only one.”The school went out as soon as they found out about it and went through the playground and did find a few other items, condoms, out on the playground,” said Randy Barber, spokesman for the Douglas County School District.

You know who’s a real motherfucker? The kid who “gave it to her as a gift.” That little son of a bitch knew exactly what he was doing. There’s always one diabolical asshole with an older brother or degenerate parents who knows everything there is to know about sex and shit way too early. Knows about condoms and sex and has porno mags and spends all night pretending he was a lesbian in online chat rooms.

I know there’s always one of those kids because I was one. Kids would be like Hey check out this cool snake skin I found in the woods! Id be like “thats not a snakeskin, Timmy, thats a latex prophylactic used to capture a man’s sperm during intercourse. Now blow that shit up like a balloon they’re basically the same thing!” So there’s no doubt in my min this little fucker knew exactly what that condom was and was like “Hey lets go give this used jimmy hat to Little Suzie and tell her its a balloon!” Matter of fact there’s a chance he not only knew what it was, it was probably his. Little asshole probably strapping those things on for fun just to experiment or something. I’m telling you they should just lock that kid up right now. He’s heading down a dark path, trust me. Takes one to know one. .

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