Screwing the Statute of Liberty?

The SunA WOMAN with a strange attraction for inanimate objects has found true love — with the Statue of Liberty. Smitten shop assistant Amanda Whittaker, 27, says she has fallen head over heels for the iconic New York monument. Amanda, who had a passionate love affair with a drum kit while still at school, said: “She is my long-distance lover and I am blown away by how stunning she is.” The 27-year-old, from Leeds, has a condition called objectum sexuality, in which people fall in love with things rather than humans. She first fell for “Libby”, as she calls the statue, when a pal in New York posted her a picture online. Since then she has visited the 151ft statue in person four times, caressing it and leaning out of a window to kiss its hair. She has even thought about marrying it — but decided against it “because so many others love her too”. Instead she has settled for a shrine to Libby in her home featuring a 6ft replica, hundreds of smaller models and ornaments and huge US flags. She said: “Other people might be shocked to think I can have romantic feelings for an object, but I am not the same as them.”

Is this bitch kidding me? She fucks a drum kit in college and now all the sudden she thinks she’s Statue of Liberty material? For sure not, babe. You don’t get to make that jump. That would be like if I fucked a toaster in college and now I expect the Eiffel Tower to marry me. Doesn’t work that way bro. Its like trying to trade in your leased Honda FIT for a Ferrari. Its like dumping your normal, human girlfriend and expecting to rebound with Kate Upton.

Here’s the bottom line you delusional ginger fat ass – Libby is a sexy bitch. Like you said yourself, so many others love her too. She can have her pick of the litter when it comes to freak shows who like to fuck inanimate objects. So sorry if I’m being rude or insensitive here but you’re just not Statue of Liberty material. There’s a natural progression that takes place. You gotta climb the ladder. Earn your way up. In real life you start by fucking fat girls and maybe work your way up to the head cheerleader. In inanimate-national-monument-fucker life you start off with the St. Louis Arch or some shit. Go fuck the Washington Monument. But Libby is not interested in a fat British ginger

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One Response to “Screwing the Statute of Liberty?”

  1. psychowatcher Says:

    LOL!

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