Scamming the System?

AbroathAn X-ray scan of a woman being processed into jail turned up a bottle hidden in an unusual place. 20-year-old Mishelle Salzgeber of Dade City was arrested for violating probation, and as she was booked into jail on Monday, a body scan revealed what appeared to be a pill bottle inside her vagina. According to the incident report, Salzgeber said it was actually a small vodka bottle, which she removed during a strip search. The bottle was empty, but Salzgeber allegedly told police it had been filled with someone else’s urine, which she tried to use in order to pass a drug test at the probation office. Unfortunately for Salzgeber, the urine that was in the vodka bottle had also failed the test, which led to her arrest.

Diabolical urine crime!  Vaginal vessel villiany!  A Pee pee cunt caper!  Whatever you want to call this incident, be sure to call it genius because this chick just changed the female drug test game forever.

It seems so obvious: fill a Smirnoff shot bottle with clean pee, hide that junk in your junk, then pour out glorious golden victory when you get into the bathroom.  How has nobody done this before?  Or perhaps that have and this is the first time they were CAUGHT.  Just an amazing home remedy for a common American problem.  People are out there strapping fake dicks to themselves and burning their faces up overdosing on Niacin when Mishelle (terrible spelling) has it all figured out.

Well, not all figured out because she filled her vagina bottle with dirty pee, but that’s just a trial run mistake.  Guaranteed Mishelle vagina vodka bottle urine attempt #2 goes off without a hitch.


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