Archive for April, 2012

Fat Chicks?

April 30, 2012


ABC – A self-described “plus sized” college student who was told she was “obviously pregnant” and “not pretty enough” to dance on a platform in a bar in Iowa is claiming she was discriminated against by the bar’s bouncers. Jordan Ramos, a 21-year-old University of Iowa student said she went to Union Bar in Iowa City, Iowa with her friends on March 3. She said she tried to get onto a platform where several of her friends were dancing, but was stopped by the bouncer, who said they were at capacity. Ramos said she waited until a few girls left, and again tried to go up. She was stopped again, which she said prompted her to ask, “What is the difference between the other girls up there and myself?” bouncer said ‘Look, you will never get up on this platform. Go back to the dance floor where you belong,’” Ramos told ABC News.  A social work professor at the University of Iowa told Ramos to return to the bar. “She told my friends and I to go back and see if the same thing happens and to try to get them to say aloud ‘I am not allowing you up because of your size,’” Ramos said. Ramos asked the bouncer repeatedly why she could not dance on the platform. “He said, ‘You’re not pretty enough and you’re pregnant.’ I said, ‘I can tell you with 100 percent certainty that I am not pregnant.’ He then looked at my stomach and said, ‘You obviously are.’ They knew I was not pregnant; it was there way of calling me fat without having to actually say it,” Ramos said.

First things first.  I refuse to believe this chick isn’t pregnant.Come on honey.  You’re 100% prego.  I mean look at you.   Fucking huge.  But let’s for the sake of argument say that you are just naturally this fat.    Fine.  You still can’t dance on the platform.  Just like you are too fat to work at hooters, be a model, be a stripper or do anything where looks are involved.   I’m not even trying to be mean.   But facts are facts.  You are ugly. The last thing a club wants is ugly girls dancing around uglifying the whole joint.  Nobody wants to see that shit.   Fat chicks dancing is the ultimate buzzkill. That’s what makes people stop drinking, stop having fun and leave.   That’s how clubs go out of business.  Like you walk into a club and see a fat chicks shit jiggling all over the place you get the fuck out of dodge.  So it’s not like going up there isn’t going to hurt anybody.  Yes it is.  It’s going to hurt business.    It’s that simple.  It’s nothing personal.  You’re just fat and gross and need to stay in the shadows not the spotlight.  It’s okay though…the world needs ditchdiggers too.


Kelly Clarkson?

April 30, 2012

I don’t know what kind of workout and diet KC has been with these past couple of years, but whatever it is it’s working.  She’s in that perfect range right now: not too skinny, not morbidly obese enough to be restricted to a chair.  Juuust right.  Just to that point where her arms are fat enough to scare all the blood to the surface of her skin turning it from that horrible smooth single tone to a much sexier, blotchier red.  Ya’ll know what I’m talking about.  That perfect zone where the ass curdles up into those delicious little dimples and her breathing becomes wheezingly audible.  That’s the one.  You gotta share your secret with the rest of the women of America, Kelly.  Too many singers running around here without tricep fat looking like they forgot about Wal-Mart’s sale on middle America emo teenager clothes.  Help ‘em out.

Legoland and Tinkerbell?

April 30, 2012

Dallas Observer- On Sunday, Lana Massey decided to surprise her 8-year-old son, a Lego fanatic, with a trip to Legoland. She paid $53 for access to Legoland Discover Center and the adjoining  aquarium before proceeding to three separate playrooms. “The whole time  we were in, we were followed” by a Legoland employee, the heavily  tattooed Massey continues. “I was totally assuming that she was going to  come up to me and ask me who my artist was.” The employee headed her off. “Ma’am, I need to give you your money  back and ask you to leave,” she said, according to Massey’s account.  According to Massey, that was that. The employee escorted her to the cashier’s desk, gave her a refund, then escorted her out. After hearing her story, we called Legoland, where officials say they  didn’t kick out Massey and her son because they didn’t like her tattoos. They kicked her out because they didn’t like one specific one. “No  more offensive than zombie Jesus or guns promoting violence,” she says.  “Aside from any of that, there is nothing about tattoos in their  policies, just inappropriate clothing. … I could see if it was like a  gaping vag or something like that, but I don’t have anything like that.”


I’m all for freedom of speech. Considering the things I say online on a daily basis I kind of have to be. So as a result, I’m glad I have the opportunity to say the only reason anybody would ever cover their entire body in tattoos is because they weren’t attractive enough to begin with, and this woman is a fucking moron for thinking she’s the victim here. There’s plenty of reasons that parents bring their kids to Legoland, like… Legos and, I guess, Legos? But regardless of my ignorance regarding the topic, I’d be willing to bet that most people don’t go to Legoland so their six year old daughter can see a picture of a naked Tinkerbell fucking a light switch. I’m pretty sure that’s child porn in certain Southern states. I could totally understand why you would be offended if you got kicked out just for being covered in tattoos. But you didn’t.  And she’s right, it’s not like it’s a gaping vagina, it’s a tattoo of a Disney fairy impaling her tiny fairy vagina on a common household object. So what if it was drawn in the 1940s? The Greeks had drawings of them naked wrestling with 10 year olds and you don’t see me tattooing that on my ass.


April 29, 2012

Pitbull Singer Pitbull poses in the press room during the 2010 American Music Awards held at Nokia Theatre L.A. Live on November 21, 2010 in Los Angeles, California.

I honestly dont get how this guy has become successful, i mean where did he come from? why do people want to do song with him in? how did he do this with only one verse?

his song ‘Hotel Room’ or whatever it was called was atrocious, i cant believe that got into the charts and even so, what the fuck? HOW? he just repeats the same line over and over and over again for like 5 minutes to some mediocre beat. why do people like that? i dont even enjoy it pissed out of my face in a club, its terrible.

apart from that one song the only other time i ever see/hear the guy is when he piggybacks off of other people’s success by doing that shitty little rap he does.

the real joke i find is that its the same in every song, same tempo, rythm, flow probably even lyrics. He doesnt even follow other people’s songs, he just drops the beat spits his shitty unoriginal bars about shorty getting low in the club and then when he’s done the song resumes again.

i honestly dont see the point in the guy, i think i could probably walk into town and train a tramp to be a better musician than this guy. if he died the music industry wouldnt bat an eye lid, literally nothing would change.

Dentist from Hell?

April 27, 2012

NEW CASSEL, N.Y. (CBSNewYork) A Long Island man  with a sixth-grade education has been accused of practicing dentistry  from his home without having any formal medical or dental training,  police said Thursday. Detectives went to Manuel Carranza’s New Cassel home on Wednesday afternoon after receiving a call that the 46-year-old  was allegedly operating an unlicensed dental practice out of his  residence. Carranza allegedly bought his dental equipment and tools on the  Internet and did not keep anything sterilized, 1010 WINS’ Mona Rivera  reported. “Our concern is that there are people that are not in good health as a result of his services,” Det. Lt. Ray Cote said. Carranza allegedly cleaned his tools with dish-washing soap and melted  down gold jewelry to be used as dental fillings, WCBS 880′s Sophia Hall  reported. Police believe Carranza treated more than 100 people over a year and  half. His attorney insisted Carranza had dental tools but did not  practice. Or, as McLogan learned from his attorney, Carranza may be some  kind of a collector. “That’s not a crime,” Samuel Reiff said.

If you stroll into this cat’s apartment and let him practice dentistry on you, you deserve everything that comes your way. That dude looks like the complete polar opposite of a dentist. He looks like a disgruntled illegal landscaper or a Mexican drug mule.

But you know what? I’m actually pretty impressed. The fact that this guy probably can’t even read an Amelia Bedelia book but can melt down fillings and do a decent enough dentist impression is fucking impressive. Like that takes some natural talent and a resourcefulness that not many people have. If this dude put that kind of effort into school he probably would have gone on to graduate and become a real dentist. Sky is the limit for a guy with as many natural gifts as Manuel Carranza. Instead he’s washing screwdrivers and forks in the sink pretending they are dentist equipment and he’s going to jail for pretending to be a doctor. They say the saddest thing in life is a talented Mexican posing as a dentist

Turtle Boy?

April 27, 2012



Dailymail – A child dubbed ‘turtle boy’ because of a giant mole that covered his back like a shell, can now live a normal life thanks to a British surgeon. Didier Montalvo, six, from Colombia, had the rare condition Congenital Melanocytic Nevus. The family were also ostracised from their rural village as the superstitious residents said Didier’s condition was due to being conceived during an eclipse. They feared he was touched by evil forces which meant he could not attend school or be baptised.


Dude!   Why did you get your turtle shell removed!    Thing is sick!   You’re like a real life ninja turtle.    Jerry Brockenheimer is fucking coming out with a new Ninja Turtles movie too. Everything was coming up roses for you.  Yeah obviously kids were telling you that you were touched by evil forces.    That’s what all kids do when they are jealous.   Like oh man those new Jordan’s suck.  I don’t want those.   Same thing here.    Bro you got played. Such a waste of a perfectly good Ninja Turtle mole.

Schemin’ the System?

April 24, 2012

CopcopMother who pleaded guilty to fraudulently enrolling her six-year-old son in the wrong school district has been sentenced to five years in prison. Tonya McDowell sent her son to an elementary school in Norwalk, Connecticut, instead of her home city of Bridgeport. The 34-year-old, who was homeless when she was charged with felony larceny last year, said she wanted the best education possible for the boy. McDowell last week entered her plea at Norwalk Superior Court under the Alford Doctrine, which means she does not admit guilt but concedes the state has enough evidence to convict her. Authorities told the hearing that she used a babysitter’s address to enroll her son in kindergarten in Norwalk when he should have attended schools in Bridgeport, her last permanent address.

Surely everybody is gonna feel sorry for this woman, but fact is she broke the law and now she has to do the time.  You can’t just pretend you live in towns you don’t live in to get your kids in nice schools.  If kids in rough areas got to go to any school they wanted, what would be the point of living in a nice neighborhood?

People are probably going to be concerned for the child and feel some sort of way about his upcoming school downgrade, but take a second and think about the real victims here: the other kids at the rich school.  What about them?  What about their well-being after being integrated with a ‘poor’ for the past year?  Tonya McDowell’s son was probably scaring those kids with his filthy homeless van culture.  I bet all those unfortunate rich parents had to answer questions about everything from cornbread to kool-aid.  “Mommy, what’s cocoa butter?”I bet a handful of those kids got diabetes just being around a child prole.

Locking Tonya up for 5 years is what’s best.  For the children.

Teacher Calls Student a Nigga?

April 22, 2012

Gym Guys?

April 19, 2012


April 19, 2012