Dallas Observer- On Sunday, Lana Massey decided to surprise her 8-year-old son, a Lego fanatic, with a trip to Legoland. She paid $53 for access to Legoland Discover Center and the adjoining aquarium before proceeding to three separate playrooms. “The whole time we were in, we were followed” by a Legoland employee, the heavily tattooed Massey continues. “I was totally assuming that she was going to come up to me and ask me who my artist was.” The employee headed her off. “Ma’am, I need to give you your money back and ask you to leave,” she said, according to Massey’s account. According to Massey, that was that. The employee escorted her to the cashier’s desk, gave her a refund, then escorted her out. After hearing her story, we called Legoland, where officials say they didn’t kick out Massey and her son because they didn’t like her tattoos. They kicked her out because they didn’t like one specific one. “No more offensive than zombie Jesus or guns promoting violence,” she says. “Aside from any of that, there is nothing about tattoos in their policies, just inappropriate clothing. … I could see if it was like a gaping vag or something like that, but I don’t have anything like that.”
I’m all for freedom of speech. Considering the things I say online on a daily basis I kind of have to be. So as a result, I’m glad I have the opportunity to say the only reason anybody would ever cover their entire body in tattoos is because they weren’t attractive enough to begin with, and this woman is a fucking moron for thinking she’s the victim here. There’s plenty of reasons that parents bring their kids to Legoland, like… Legos and, I guess, Legos? But regardless of my ignorance regarding the topic, I’d be willing to bet that most people don’t go to Legoland so their six year old daughter can see a picture of a naked Tinkerbell fucking a light switch. I’m pretty sure that’s child porn in certain Southern states. I could totally understand why you would be offended if you got kicked out just for being covered in tattoos. But you didn’t. And she’s right, it’s not like it’s a gaping vagina, it’s a tattoo of a Disney fairy impaling her tiny fairy vagina on a common household object. So what if it was drawn in the 1940s? The Greeks had drawings of them naked wrestling with 10 year olds and you don’t see me tattooing that on my ass.