Tebow and Lolo?

YahooTim Tebow and American hurdling star Lolo Jones share two things in  common: They’re saving their virginity until marriage and they get made  fun of incessantly for that decision. Jones, the 29-year-old world indoor champion and Olympic medal hopeful, recently told HBO’s “Real Sports” that she was still a virgin.  Once that interview aired, she drew immediate comparisons to America’s  most famous sexual holdout, Timothy Richard Tebow. That similarity  wasn’t lost on Tebow’s New York Jets teammates. According to Kevin Armstrong of the New York Daily News, Tebow was serenaded with chants of “Lolo! Lolo!” when he entered the locker room following Thursday’s OTAs and it wasn’t because he’s good at hurdling and sort of looks like Rashida Jones.

Aw shit! What a fuckin power couple this duo would be! We could refer to them as “Teblow” because you know both of them are down with oral. A reality show with these two dating would blow it out of the water. Have the cameras follow them around talking about how they don’t fuck and how Jesus is awesome and blah blah blah. Maybe a season finale where Tebow finger blasts her. Season 2 finale with a Lolo BlowBlow. All just leading up to a series finale where they fuck on camera. Not even kidding you, I think that would be the single highest rated thing in the history of television. They could donate all the money earned to the Catholic Church or some shit.

I think this is God’s plan. His grand scheme to have these two breed some Super Christ baby that can run the hurdles and play special teams in the NFL and not fuck. How much of a lameo kid would that be? Some kid who can’t throw a football, runs track, and doesn’t have sex. Sounds like every nerd in the world except this kid would technically be a athletic, immortal superchild.


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