Archive for June, 2012

Miami Heat Blowjob?

June 29, 2012

Date: August 2, 2012 – in Miami (Location To Be Announced)

BLOWJOBS GIVEN TO ALL CONFIRMED TWITTER FOLLOWERS WHO ARE OVER 21 WITH ID ***MUST FOLLOW BOTH @SaraJayxxx & @AngelinaCastroX to qualify ***

RULES:

  1. Members of Angelina Castro’s Official Site or Sara Jay’s Official Site as of August 1, 2012 are first in line based on length of membership.
  2. If any member of the Heat or the coaching staff shows up, they are next in line (as long as they are followers!)
  3. Whoever is a follower who shows up in either a ‘I Love Sara Jay’ or ‘Once You Go Hispanic Don’t Panic’ or Sara Jay’s Juicy ‘T.I.T.S’ Tshirt is next in line
  4. Anyone who shows up in a TeamBJNBA Tshirt is next in line
  5. Anyone who shows up in a Miami Heat Official Tshirt or Jersey is next in line
  6. The next order is based on submission of complete paperwork and releases
  7. ANYONE GETTING A BJ MUST CONSENT TO THE EVENT BEING FILMED, STREAMED LIVE and/or SOLD ON A DVD or WEBSITE in the future – NO EXCEPTIONS – Release to be posted here soon
  8. You CAN wear a mask to cover your face to collect your BJ but ONLY if your identity is confirmed beforehand.
  9. YOU MUST HAVE A CONFIRMED TEST FROM TALENT TESTING (at your expense) completed and emailed with a copy of your ID no later than 48 hours before the follower blow off. Information on how to test posted soon.
  10. No admission to the event just to watch.
  11. No filming or picture taking of any kind.
  12. All paperwork (release and test) must be emailed to info@teambjnba.com no later than 48 hours before the event.
  13. We reserve the right to refuse entry for ANY reason, including but not limited to hygene, rude behavior, intoxication or otherwise.
  14. A registered MALE nurse will be on the premises to inspect for hygene.
  15. You FULLY and COMPLETELY will release Sara Jay & Angelina Castro from any claims of any kind arising out of your participation.

*** This is a ONE TIME event. Collect on August 2 in Miami, or don’t collect at all *** ***We reserve the right to change the date, rules & location as needed *** *** For those that cannot come to the event, it will be streamed live, details to follow how to watch ***

So for those who don’t know the story, these two whores promised to suck all of their follower’s dicks if the Heat won the title. Welp, time to cash in, whores! I don’t know why this struck me the way it did. I guess just seeing the explicit rules of a blow job gang bang listed out is something I’ve never encountered. Like seeing all these different stipulations about what allows you to cut the line is just fascinating. Different t shirts and different professions leading to blow job precedence. Show up in a Heat jersey and you head to the front of the line like you’ve got those Six Flags Flash Passes on the roller coasters. This shit is so well thought out.

You CAN wear a mask but you must first reveal your identity. Am I getting my dick sucked or am I a fucking Marvel superhero? You gotta let some male nurse inspect your dick first? Yea that will make me hard as a rock. This shit is just absolutely absurd. I guess you cant just have hundreds of dudes showing up for a blow-job-athon without having some rules in place though. That would be bedlam. Might lead to a riot.

PS – If you really take the time to get tested a week earlier and wait in line and wear a mask just to get your dick sucked, you are either the most pathetic person I’ve ever met or my new hero.

PPS – How pissed would you be if you were the next guy in line and fucking Eddy Curry shows up and gets to cut in front of you? You got your Lucha Libre mask on. You’re fluffing yourself. You’re next in line like Ralphie getting to go see Santa in A Christmas Story. And fat ass Eddy Curry strolls in and gets his dick sucked before you.

Stuff to Avoid Posting on Facebook?

June 29, 2012

Feet in a circle on Facebook 10 tacky things to avoid posting on FacebookIt’s all too easy to forget how public your Facebook profile really is. Sure, it might seem like you’re sharing that snapshot of dessert (“Mmmm!”) or your latest random rant (“Can’t take this anymore!”) with only your close-knit circle of Facebook pals, but don’t forget about their friends, and their friends…

Need some examples of things to avoid? Let’s start with…

1. Photos of everything you eat

Pictures of your breakfast, lunch and dinner are not for Facebook—and if you must post an update about your latest meal, make sure it’s witty, informative, funny, purposeful, or at least … well, something.

A photo of your morning coffee, sans commentary, simply doesn’t make the cut, even if it has a heart-shaped dash of foam.

2. Too-frequent changes to your relationship status…

…particularly if you’re only doing it because you’re mad at a special someone.

A real breakup is one thing, but if you’re constantly changing your status to send a message to your significant other, you’ll be also be sending a message—a rather unflattering one, actually—to dozens, hundreds, or even (gulp) thousands of annoyed Facebook friends.

3. Group photos of your feet in a circle

Yes, I know, it’s the latest trend on Facebook—and sure, it’s fun to show off your cute new Manolos. But most of the time, all we see are sausage toes and chipped polish. Enough is enough.

4. Cryptic messages that fish for replies (e.g. “I AM IN SHOCK”)

It elicits more eye rolls than comments and sets you up to be the boy (or girl) who cried wolf.

5. An emoticon as a condolence for a grieving Facebook friend

A simple “:(” just isn’t the most thoughtful way to pay your respects.

6. Hackneyed, overused Internet slang…

…like “LOL” (Laughing Out Loud) and “LMAO” (Laughing My A** Off). “LOL” once too often, and don’t be surprised if your friends start unsubscribing from your posts and comments.

7. Too many photos in which you’re clearly tipsy

I love a great happy hour as much as the next person, but please, take another look at your photo albums.

If you see too many snapshots where you’re holding a lime wedge, wearing a crown, or carrying your shoes, go ahead and start deleting or de-tagging.

8. Ultra-personal diary entries

Always ask yourself: do you really want to announce that super-secret thought or deep, dark confession to all your friends, family, and co-workers on Facebook?

Sure, you can always delete a post later—but when it comes to Facebook, “later” is almost always too late.

9. Guilt trips about your latest cause.

Activism is everywhere on Facebook, and if you want to turn your Timeline into a virtual soapbox or create a page for your favorite cause, more power to you.

But writing something along the lines of “I know 97% of you won’t repost this, but my real friends will” isn’t so much convincing as it is manipulative and obnoxious.

10. Cell-phone photos of yourself pouting in a mirror

These self-shots may look like art to you, but all everyone else sees is someone standing alone in a badly-lit bathroom taking photos of themselves.

Even worse, your more revealing photo shoots may wind up in the seedier corners of the Internet—and good luck trying to take them down. Just don’t do it.

5 Useless Army Guys?

June 29, 2012

Zombie?

June 28, 2012

 

MiamiHeraldRudy Eugene, the man who chewed off a homeless man’s face on the MacArthur Causeway and was shot to death by Miami police, had no drugs in his system other than marijuana, the Miami-Dade Medical Examiner’s office said Wednesday. On May 26, Eugene stripped off his clothes along the causeway from Miami Beach before attacking 65-year-old Ronald Poppo in a ghoulish, drawn-out assault in plain view on a city sidewalk captured by a Miami Herald security camera. Eugene was shot by a police officer who found him chewing chunks off Poppo’s face. The bizarre details of the attack prompted speculation that the 31-year-old attacker was under the influence of harder drugs. Soon after the incident, for example, the head of the Miami police union publicly speculated that Eugene was on “bath salts,” synthetic stimulants that have been blamed for seemingly psychotic episodes in other cases around the country. But the medical examiner — after seeking help from an outside forensic toxicology lab — could find no evidence of the common components of “bath salts” in Eugene’s system. Nor did the lab find evidence of synthetic marijuana or LSD.

Let’s all admit to ourselves that Rudy Eugene looks nothing like how someone who eats faces should look.  This picture looks more like a backup free safety for the Bucs or a weed bust mug shot, not a guy who strips naked and starts eating hobo skin.

Anyway, the chances that Rudy transformed into one of the undead just increased at least 200%, right?  No bath salts, no synthetic K-2, no other drugs in his system.   Well, except weed — but when was the last time some stoner took 20 bong hits and ate homeless face instead of Spicy Doritos or a box of Honey Comb?  Never not never.  This man either became a zombie or there’s a seriously deranged hypnotist who has beef with the homeless.

ID Help?

June 28, 2012

(TSG) –– More than 30 years after a man died in Oklahoma City, investigators are seeking the public’s help in identifying the decedent–whose death was not ruled a homicide–via the creation of a life-like dummy.  Oklahoma City cops and the state’s Medical Examiner’s Office this month released photos of a reconstruction created by a forensic artist with the Oklahoma State Bureau of Investigation.

How dumb are the Oklahoma City Police? If this was pictionary I would have nailed this guy in about 2 seconds. Chill out everyone, I found him…

Dude’s been on tour with The California Raisins and fucking the Sun Maid chick in his free time. At least that’s what I heard through the grape vine. Give him some space.

Ohh How the Mighty Have Fallen?

June 27, 2012

Philly.comOn Tuesday we spoke with a woman who showed us several photos of Owens she says were taken via video chat service Skype while he apparently masturbated in front of her. The woman, who is 27 and asked not to be identified, spent Tuesday trying to sell the photos to TMZ and other celebrity media outlets. The Daily News does not purchase such material. T.O.’s Skype buddy said she met him on Twitter when she complimented his appearance and they began direct-messaging there before moving to Skype. During their first Skype encounter, the woman claims, Owens was already naked and erect when the video call began. She estimates watching Owens pleasure himself on 10 separate occasions during which she denies exposing herself or talking dirty. She says Owens would “tell me things he wanted to do to me.” “It’s obvious that she has nothing because it’s illegal with what she’s trying to do or otherwise TMZ would have bought the photos,” Owens told us by email Tuesday. “This is a case of extortion, this is a waste of my time and you’re wasting your time because I have nothing to say,” Owens said.

So T.O. has been reduced to beating his meat for strangers on Skype!?  Not a good look, bro.

Racist McDonalds Ad?

June 27, 2012

No tippin’!?  Well shit.  I’m there, Micky D’s.

And here I was lookin’ for a place to do my dinnertimin’ without havin’ to get all dressed up.  Just wanna relax and get down with good food that won’t keep me waitin’, ya dig?  I’m glad I wasn’t listenin’ to those jive-ass turkeys hangin’ ’round da Burga Kin’, I’sa wouldda’ neva finna got dis hunga unda control.  LORDY GAWD BLESS DA FINE DININ’ NO TIPPIN’ NEEDIN’ FOLKS AT MICKY D’S!

A Dead Ringer?

June 27, 2012

(E!) – Kenny Chesney fan and apparent look-alike Nate Blankenship found that out the hard way when he showed up at a Chesney show at Nashville’s LP Field and ended up being escorted out by security who claimed that his resemblance to the country singer was creating a disturbance. Well, it turns out Chesney’s camp had no idea such a thing had happened until Blankenship made the local news—and they are very sorry.  “Being made aware through the media that fan Nathan Blankenship was removed from the Brothers of the Sun Tour show in Nashville on Saturday night, the promoter of the show is contacting Blankenship to resolve the matter,” read a statement from Chesney’s record label to E! News. “I would like to thank my family, friends and the many well wishers who have supported me in the past 24 hours, which has probably been the most hectic day of my life,” Blankenship said in a statement yesterday after hearing that Chesney’s label wanted to make amends.

My big problem with this, aside from the look-alike acting like he just got rescued from an Iranian embassy, is the fact that anyone and everyone looks like Kenny Chesney when you’re wearing a cowboy hat. You throw a 10 gallon hat on Mo and he’ll be a dead ringer for Kenny Chesney. And isn’t everyone supposed to look the same at a country concert anyway? White with a flannel shirt and a Republican ballot? Just doesn’t make sense to kick a guy out of a country concert for looking too much like Chesney. It’s like kicking a guy out of the Aryan Nation for his eyes being too blue.

Tanning Booth Slut?

June 27, 2012

DM – A 24-year-old woman has been arrested after she allegedly seduced a 15-year-old boy in a tanning booth as his mother worked out in the gym. Betsy Ann Brashear was found wearing only a sports bra when the boy’s mother knocked on the door to the booth in Bartlesville, Oklahoma.Brashear said she knew the boy’s age and admitted kissing him, but said there was ‘nothing wrong or illegal about giving someone a kiss’, according to an affidavit. The boy told police Brashear talked him into going into the tanning room, where she then stripped and started kissing him, the affidavit said.

 

15 years old is a Freshman in high school right?   How the fuck does a chick get arrested for seducing a freshman in high school?   That kid didn’t get seduced.  He seduced the chick.  Like I know we always make fun of stories like these, but honestly having laws that protect high school boys from hooking up with sluts is the most ridiculous thing I’ve ever heard of in my life.   At 15 you know exactly what you’re doing.   You want pussy and you want it now.  Doesn’t matter what age, size, shape or color.  Just get that pussy.   That’s all you can think about.    This kid wasn’t a victim.  He’s a hero.   Pobably getting high fives everywhere he looks and this chick is in the slammer.   It makes no sense.

Gay Oreos?

June 27, 2012

Ad Week- Oreo is widely known to be one of the most successful brands on  Facebook, but tonight the brand proved it could be one of the boldest,  too. Around 8 p.m. Eastern, Oreo posted a gay-pride-themed picture  featuring a six-layer cookie colored like a rainbow,  with “June 25” and the word “Pride.” The caption said “Proudly support  love!” (The significance of the date is unclear, at least to me. San  Francisco’s famous Gay Pride Parade was the 24th, as was the one-year  anniversary of New York’s Marriage Equality Act.) The response among  Oreo’s 26.9 million fans has been fiercely divided, with many commenting  that they planned to stop purchasing Oreos. “I’m never eating Oreos  again. This is just disgusting,” one commenter said. “Unliking page and  the rest of the ‘kraft’ family products… i will not support a company  with these views,” wrote another. But the post also drew a massive  amount of support in the form of 14,800 shares and 87,000 Likes as of  this writing.

I normally stay away from political issues because I could not give less of a shit, but this is such a cut and dry case I can’t comprehend why people would possibly be offended. Like I don’t care if a group of butch lesbians and sweaty bears in assless chaps broke into your house, had a giant homosexual orgy while watching reruns of Will and Grace and then burned the place down while singing a melody of Broadway show tunes; if your hatred of the gays can’t be overcome by the beauty that is rainbow hextuple stuffed Oreos then there’s honestly no hope left for you. Absolutely unforgivable. The only reason I can think of to be mad at Oreo for this is if they put out this picture without any intention of trying to make these a real thing. That’s the one and only scenario where I decide to get my protest on. Gay people can keep fighting for their right to fuck whoever they want, and I wish them the best of luck with that. I’ll be in the corner fighting for my right to contract Type II diabetes by eating a box of these in one sitting.