Hipster Urkel?

NY PostA cop who thought she was a big wheel got a lesson in law from this high-school kid. The  NYPD officer slapped Brooklyn high-schooler Isaih Rosemond with a  summons for riding his “bike’’ on the sidewalk — even though he was on a  unicycle and correctly told the cop it wasn’t against the law to ride  the one-wheeler there. When a patrol car first honked and pulled  up behind him, “I had a smile on my face,” recalled Rosemond, 18, who  was on his way to school when he was stopped on Rockaway Parkway in  Canarsie at around 8 a.m. May 23. But Rosemond said he quickly realized that the cop who got out of the car wasn’t amused. “Don’t  you know it’s illegal to ride a bike on a sidewalk?’’ barked the  officer, identified as Nicole Ortiz from the badge number Rosemond  provided from the summons. The teen — anxious to hop back onto his $200, black-seated Torker unicycle to get to school on time — tried to protest. Rosemond even whipped out his iPhone and quickly looked up an official  government Web site that detailed the legal code to prove that unicycles  are not banned from sidewalks. “I told her . . . She just brushed me  off,’’ he said. Rosemond said he took up the unicycle in February. Also a pianist and  guitar player, he said he now rides his cycle more than four miles a day  to school, about an hour from his home.

Isaih are you familiar with Penal Code 6.2, Section 3, Article IV? Says if you’re a fucking dickhead on a unicycle you’re subject to a $100 fine. Got nothing to do with the bike code. I’m not even exaggerating, people who ride unicycles are the biggest assholes on the planet earth. Unless you’re a fucking circus performer and you’re juggling bowling pins while you’re on your unicycle, you got no business being on a one wheeled bike. I mean his little dickhead lives four miles from school. How long does it take to ride 4 miles on a unicycle? 6 hours?

Bottom line is, riding a unicycle is the biggest cry for attention I’ve ever seen in my life. Its the ultimate “Look at me! Look at me!” move. I’m riding a bike that only has one wheel! You see, its unique because bikes usually have 2 or 3 wheels! I’ve gotta work hard at balancing! Fuck you! I’d clothesline you right across your neck twice a day during your 8 mile unicycle commute you little prick.

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