Boy’s don’t Cry?

DMA 24-year-old woman from Massachusetts is facing federal charges for allegedly masquerading as a teenage boy to have sex with a 15-year-old girl, who was apparently unaware that the boyfriend she met online was actually a female. The suspect, Carissa Hads, was arrested on May 24 and charged with traveling across state lines for the purpose of coercing or enticing a minor to have sexual intercourse. Following Hads’s arrest, police said they seized an artificial flesh-colored penis from the front pocket of her pants that she apparently used during a sexual encounter with the teenage victim. Hads was apprehended after flying to meet the girl for a third rendezvous, the Smoking Gun has reported. According to an affidavit sworn by an Internet Crimes Against Children Task Force investigator, Hads was posing as a 17-year-old boy named James Puryear Wilson when she met the teen on an unspecified social networking site in October of 2010. ‘Wilson’ maintained Facebook and MySpace pages that described him as a youth pastor living in Quincy, Massachusetts, which is Hads’s actual residence. In the course of their relationship, authorities said Hads sent her teenage paramour two cell phones that she could use to contact her ‘boyfriend.’ Along with paying the girl’s cell phone bills, Hads also sent her a Kindle Fire tablet, according to the affidavit. The teenager told investigators that she used the phones to take naked photos of herself, some of which focused on her genitals, and send them to ‘Wilson.’ The affidavit states that Hads and the girl would also write in journals and mail them back and forth so each could respond to the other’s writings. During their stay, Talkington claimed that Hads/’Wilson’ digitally penetrated the teen’s vagina. Two months later, Hads flew to West Virginia disguised as ‘Wilson’ and stayed at A.L.’s house for five days, during which time the two had allegedly had sex. Hads also kept her chest covered using a back brace, Talkington wrote.

I’m not real familiar with Mass so maybe some of the Boston Stoolies can help me out here.  Quincy…sounds familiar.  Is that the dildo-wielding cross-dressing lesbian stat rapist part of town?

No idea why this 15 year-old girl didn’t catch on sooner that her boyfriend was actually a chick.  Sending journals to each other through the mail to answer each other’s entries?  That’s the gayest thing I’ve ever heard.  Total giveaway.

Gotta applaud Hads’ tenacity, though.  Whizzinator-style strap-on, back brace to mash those small B’s down the man-chest size, and the dedication to continue this for months on end.  Plus it ain’t easy to keep up those boyish good looks every day.  You think looking like a Justin Bieber/Marshall Mathers/Frankie Muniz mash-up every day is easy?  That’s hard work for a couple of boobie cell phone shots and a game of rubber penis just-the-tip.

PS – “Digitally penetrated”…am I getting old?  What the hell does that even mean?

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