The Smoking Gun – Meet Jonathan Corcoran. The 22-year-old Iowan was at the Sports Column watering hole early Saturday when a pair of Iowa City cops arrived to conduct a “bar check.” That is when Corcoran (seen at right) took the opportunity to approach the officers and announce, “I love to fuck a man in uniform.” The cops, noting that Corcoran had “bloodshot watery eyes and slurred speech,” moved away, but Corcoran followed. He again repeated his preference for uniformed consorts. Officers then “made contact” with Corcoran, who “demonstrated poor coordination, repetitive speech and smelled strongly of an odor of an alcoholic beverage.” While estimating that he consumed a few beers over the previous three hours, Corcoran registered a .212 blood alcohol content when taking a post-arrest Breathalyzer test. After being read his Miranda rights, Corcoran said, “Sure I’m intoxicated.” In Corcoran’s defense, of course, he had been drinking in a bar. Charged with public intoxication, Corcoran was booked into the Johnson County jail. He was later released after entering a guilty plea.
I don’t care how drunk you are. I don’t care what you say about wanting to fuck a man in uniform. I don’t care if you actually end up fucking the man in uniform. There is no way, no how anybody should be able to be charged with public intoxication for being drunk inside a bar. Being drunk inside a bar is the most responsible drunk you can be. Sure approaching the officers and bumping them and telling them you wanna fuck them isn’t exactly the smartest idea, but thats the kinda shit that happens inside a bar. Not like he was at Sunday Mass or something. I mean what the fuck did these coppers expect to find when they did a “bar check?” Sober people who aren’t looking to fuck? For sure not. Shit, if being drunk in a bar and looking to fuck is a crime, then I should go to jail like 4 nights a week.