Worlds Largest Cock?

(HuffPo) Turns out it’s legal to have a weapon of mass conception at the airport.  Jonah Falcon was stopped and frisked by the TSA at the San Francisco International Airport on July 9 because of a bulging package hidden in his pants. But the 41-year-old New Yorker wasn’t packing a dirty bomb, drugs or a Costco-sized tube of toothpaste. The New Yorker has the world’s largest recorded penis.  In an exclusive interview with The Huffington Post, Falcon described his hard times with security guards after his extra carry-on became suspect.  “I had my ‘stuff’ strapped to the left. I wasn’t erect at the time,” said Falcon, whose penis is 9 inches flaccid, 13.5 inches erect. “One of the guards asked if my pockets were empty and I said, ‘Yes.’”As he passed through airport security, Falcon said a younger security guard felt threatened by his “very noticeable” package — and interpreted it as a biological threat.  “I said, ‘It’s my dick,’” Falcon said. “He gave me a pat down but made sure to go around [my penis] with his hands. They even put some powder on my pants, probably a test for explosives. I found it amusing.”

This has to be the greatest confidence boost in history. Not that a guy with a 9 and a half in flaccid dick who holds the record for the world’s largest recorded penis is short on confidence but having your cock mistaken as a biological threat is no fucking joke. We mere mortals take pride in the little victories. Maybe a girl says she’s sore in the morning, maybe she gags on a blowjob, maybe she does that thing where she puts her hand on your hips to restrict your thrusting. All those things that make you think “fuck yea, I’m adequate!” don’t even phase Jonah Falcon. Dude is literally being treated like a terrorist because he’s got a massive cock. TSA just letting a bunch of dudes named Mohammed stroll through unmolested because they were worried his twin tower sized prick causing a 9/11 two. And the best part is, he doesn’t give a fuck. Like if this was a girl getting hassled about her tits Gloria Allred would be there on her soap box talking about sexism and discrimination and blah blah blah. Jonah Falcon just takes his free handjob and laughs it off like only a man with a 13 and a half inch dick could.

PS – that first pic is the cockiest pic in history.

Double PS – the one time I’d hate to be this dude is during the anal conversation with his girlfriend. Hard to play the “c’mon babe let’s just try it. It won’t hurt I promise” card when you’re standing in the shadow of a “World’s Largest Cock” trophy.

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