Swing and a Miss?

NYDN LeBron James and the United States men’s basketball team plan on bringing home the gold. But it was plans of a different kind that the NBA’s regular season and  NBA Finals MVP made in London that briefly sent the Twitterverse ablaze:  his dinner plans. USA swimmer Lauren Perdue tweeted that LeBron had asked her to dinner. Perdue (@LoPerdue)  tweeted “Lebron James just invited me to dinner… Um wuuuutttt?!?” She  also sent out an Instagram picture of her standing with a horn-rim clad  James and the caption “Oh heyy Lebon.” Even crazier? She turned him down, citing curfew for athletes in the Olympic Village. The tweet has since been deleted. Now, before the rumors fly about the recently-engaged James and Perdue,  the 21-year-old Olympian cleared up the situation for the Charlotte  Observer. “He was kind of joking but he was basically like, ‘Would you like to  come eat with me at the dining hall?’ And I said, ‘Um, I’m sorry, I have  a curfew. So I turned that one down, yeah,” Perdue said. The report also says the University of Virginia swimmer added “LeBron  was ‘gracious’ and and certainly didn’t imply that he was asking her to  anything other than a meal at the Olympic Village dining hall.”

First of all, Lauren Perdue can cut the shit with the whole “nothing other than a meal at the Olympic Village dining hall.” Everyone knows thats Olympic code for “Lets fuck.” Not like we’re just gonna go grab a snack at the caf or something. Thats like saying “Oh I just went for a dip in the pool” at Rehab in Vegas. You’re definitely getting fucked.

So, Lauren, lets cut the shit, Lebron was definitely propositioning you to S his D. Whats downright hilarious is that you shot him down. Do you know how hard it is to not get laid at the Olympic Village? Its the No-limp-dick village. Everyone is fucking. Especially all the super star athletes. Kobe probably fucked all of Malaysia by now. And then there’s Lebron getting shot down by random swimmers. Lauren Perdue is like “uhhh no thanks. I can’t I gotta…go to sleep.” Probably snuck out and went and fucked that asshole Lochte will Lebron went hopped in the top bunk telling ghost stories with Anthony

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