Stripper Fail?

CLEVELAND A stripper was taken to the hospital after a fall from a balcony at a club in The Flats early Wednesday morning. The incident happened at about 12:40 a.m. at Christie’s Cabaret on Main Avenue. According to a report from Cleveland police, a witness told police he was on the second floor getting a lap dance from the victim, a 22-year-old woman. ”He stated that she grabbed the rail, as he was facing away from the balcony, and she tried to complete some sort of dance jump/dance move, and accidentally went head first over the rail,” stated the officer in the report. Cleveland EMS said the fall was about 15 feet. The victim was taken to MetroHealth Medical Center, where the hospital said she remains in critical condition. The police report said she received “major head trauma.” Police said two men who witnessed the incident fled the bar as soon as it happened. Another man who was in the club at the time told NewsChannel5 that he didn’t see it happen, but said the victim wasn’t moving after the fall and her face was covered in blood. He said he also saw two men leave as soon as it happened.

You know what is absolutely the funniest part of this potentially tragic story? The 2 dudes who fled the strip club after she fell. A faultless accident in a strip club and these dudes are not even considering sticking around while police show up. I got warrants! That was undoubtedly a couple black dudes who were like “I dont give a shit if I had nothing to do with this – there’s a dead stripper in the same room as me and that is not a recipe for success.”

As far as the stripper goes, obviously you hope that she ends up ok. But more importantly you hope that the young strippers of America take this tragic story as a lesson to be learned. Acrobatics and Cirqu De Soleil routines is not what puts ass in the seats. Back flips and pole climbing ain’t what earns the tips. I’m here at this club going commando wearing mesh shorts. I want you to rub your butt against my junk until I come in my pants. Save the Olympic Pole Dancing for Chinese gymnasts.

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